The Shawn Standard

Over the past few days I’ve decided that I’m going to remain single (barring any really cute, intelligent, romantic guy falling in my lap.) for a while… probably till I leave Ohio.

I’m still amazed how hung up I am on him. I was talking talking to Tommy on my lunch break. He’s on his way to meet his ex for the weekend either to fuck or get back together (one of the two — he’s not sure.) but he kept going on and on about how he was so happy. the funny thing was the more and more he talked the more and more depressed I became. I guess I’m experiencing disschadenfreude: displeasure derived from other’s pleasure.

But back to the issue at hand. Taking off from dating and remaining single.

My reasons for this are what I’ve come to call “The Shawn Standard” for lack of a better name. But some history is in order.

My first real sexual attractions were over the net — no not chatting that wasn’t on the net proper yet. [IRC yes, but I didn’t use it – 3/10] The thingy about porn is its the top 0.5% of guys – both in looks and positions and it doesn’t tell very much about emotional states and the people — you just get an image to objectify.

So naive me when I first started dating I was wanting my porn ideal. I’d for some reason assumed that we’d be able to build a meaningful relationship.

Well then I started dating and from about the first date on my standards have been on a general downward trend with the exception of the last year where the guys I was dating were just mediocre and all decided not to date me. I was more than happy to stay with any of them and date some more, but in hindsight I was making do, settling for someone because he was better that no one.

And then came Shawn.

I spent a long time while I was dating Shawn saying that I didn’t deserve him, and the people around me fed into my delusion by saying that “its always that way with the one.” And me deluded by hormones and lots of emotions believed that. Not only was Shawn someone he was someone who was more than just filling the void of “no one.”

So here is “The Shawn Standard”. The person I’m going to date is going to be as right for me and as Intelligent, kind, cute, caring, funny, dorky, and intellectually curious as Shawn. As self-centered and well narcissistic as that may sound I deserve someone with those qualities. If I accept someone of who isn’t “the one” then I’m doing myself a disservice and honestly I’m doing the other person a disservice by lying to them and distracting them from their search.

So thats where I’ve got “The Shawn Standard”

P.S. Follow Marshall’s and Dorian’s advice — especially number eight — Don’t turn every date into a “Will this be the one assessment.”

Well All I know is i’ve got a lot to learn about dating.