Inside out? or Outside In?

Am I an American?

By every common definition of the word, yes I am. I was born here, have never taken residence outside the US, and only spent maybe a total of two weeks outside the country.

But in some ways I’ve never felt a sense of belonging to an “American” ideal. Don’t get me wrong, I vote, I participate in political discussions, my credit card bills conform that I have mastered American consumerism and borrowing habits, and I enjoy a good old fireworks show like anyone else.

But I still in someways feel like an outsider. It might be that I’m an outsidere to Ohio, and given this as my primary frame of reference during the past eleven years and four months or so. So it may just be that I’m an outsider to Ohio, but until I live all over the place, I don’t think I can know. So I’ll just assume that I feel like an outsider to all America and not just Ohio.

Of course, I might feel like an outsider because I’m gay, but I also feel like an outsider in the “gay community.”

But to the point that got me started on this. I’m reading Why do People Hate America? The statement that “[America] is a nation that has developed a tradition of being oblivious to self-reflection.”

So if being an American is being unable or unwilling to engage in self-reflection then I am not an American.

But then the question if by that definition I’m not an American, what am I?

I’m not sure.

Of course a better question is why do I feel a need to identify with a country? I feel much more comfortable and appropriate identifying myself as a citizen of planet Earth than any nation state. (Not that I wholly believe or disbelieve in aliens.) I believe that way is less divisive, and more productive.

There is precedent for the transition from nation-state citizenship to world citizenship. At one time people made the transition from being a North Carolinian to becoming an American. Europeans perhaps are undergoing a similar transition from being Frenchmen, German Citizens, or British Subjects to being known as a Citizen of the European Union.

You see the political problems of this is that if we’re world citizens its much harder to find ways and grounds on which to divide us. (not that this will totally stop divisiveness.)

I guess the unfortunate thing is there are no legal protections as a “world citizen” thus I’m stuck being an inside outsider.