Boxed Pussy with a Lobster, Shawn and a bit of me

Schrodinger’s cat intrigues me. Its a quantum physics problem so bare with me while I butcher this example.

What you do is take a cat (anyone will do but I’m rooting for the troublemaker William.) and place it in a box where we cannot see or observe him. We also place a devices that in a certain period of time will either dispense either a poison or food, there s a 50/50 chance of either being dispensed. Then we wait. Given that cats are finicky eaters, I recommend waiting an extensive period after the device goes off, ignore the silent scratching noises.)

Now, guess is the cat dead from the poison or alive? (Assume the cat has sufficient O₂) Both and neither. For all we know the cat doesn’t exist in the box because we cannot see it. For al we know the cat invented a teleporter and is now on an Egyptian cruise enjoying gourmet prepared Fancy Feast. (Remember the Egyptians thought cats were sacred.) The point is we cannot know about the cat because we cannot observe it.

But when we get curious and look in we by observing the cat either kill it or bring it to live. (Whoever said that the cat’s curiosity killed the cat?)

It is the interaction of viewing the cat that is important not what happened before or what happened after.

I’ve got this jumble of thoughts I’m thinking of in no particular order.

1. When I had lobster in New England on the WSKG tour and loved it; but then going back several years later, I had l Lobster again and found it repulsive.
2. Dating Shawn during January, but after breaking up with him seeing him at the Midwest BLGTA conference and there was no spark.
3. Visiting my old home town and feeling strange and alien, and non-belonging, where there once was belonging.
4. Comparing the success of Lambda last year with the failures this year.
5. Thinking of the great growth inducing therapy sessions I had with Jo, and wanting them to continue.
6. The night before Louise, my dog died and the role reversal of caregivee to caregiver I experienced.

These are all ethereal events; they exist only in memory. Any attempt to recreated the past experiences fails because the relationship between me and the other actor can never be the same. It has happened, to recreate it cannot be done, because both parties have changed therefore the interactions can never be the same.

As much as I want to relive those moments, I cannot because I am no longer who I once was. Going back is like attempting to unpeel an onion. Once the onion has been peeled, its peeled. Period.

A time machine that goes backwards through your life would ultimately be unfufilling because while you can go back and see something that you once did, you can never experience it the same way again.