Quantum Mary Jane

I’ve been reading a book on Quantum physics. This is slightly like deciding to rewrite the rules of logic, mathematics, and English and being told “The experiments support this as the best way to do math, logic and speak.” (Note: The English must be rewritten by something more confusing than just placing it in ASL, American Sign Language, word order.)

I wonder if Quantum Physics was the inspiration for Weird Al’s song “Everything you know is wrong.”

Okay just a recap of some of the strange things I’ve read in the past week:

• Particles that receive photons that from our perspective have not yet been emitted.
• Kittens and even people who are in Quantum Flux (my term) because of an atom’s lack of ability to determine if its on the side of a box with the detector hooked up to the lethal device.
• The apparent faster than light communication due to the atom’s same inability to be decisive about which side of the box it swings to. This involves two space craft, one each with half of the box in question, two lethal devices and one alien. (After reading this I expressly forbid my kittens, George and Shaun, from having any contact with anyone with a PhD in Quantum Physics of the last name of Schrödinger, in addition they are to run and if need be climb up a very tall tree when coming in contact with any of the aforementioned persons. (I will begin holding Quantum Physics PhD/Schrödinger drills for my cats in the near future.)
• Individual particles of light that know if they are being watched and behave appropriately
• Individual particles that go through two holes simultaneously, interfering with themselves and act the same as they would if there were multiple particles.

I know strange shit ain’t it? The thing is these are answers that are accepted as valid. The book I’m reading, Schrödinger’s Kittens and the Search for Reality states that a major theory of Quantum mechanics “…is the most successful and accurate scientific theory there has ever been.” (p. 90) It goes on to support this by stating one specific measurement is as accurate as measuring the distance between NYC and LA and being off by the width of a human hair.

All I can say is I’m waiting for the paradigm shift to get us out of this seemingly Mary Jane induced Achem’s razor violating, overly absurd paradigm, so we all can get to the stage where we say, “what? They thought that?”

I’m really interested if at this point the paradigm shift inducing problem is floating around waiting to reach a crisis in the quantum physics research community.

Of course I wouldn’t be able to see it if it came speeding at me at greater than the speed of light. (err excuse me, I’m going to rephrase that to spare myself contact with anti-particles.) Take two: I wouldn’t be able to find it even if it was emitting and reabsorbing photons as if it was the hippest thing to do.

My knowledge of Quantum Physics is at the same ability of being able to add the numbers 1-5 together. I really should at least be able to do algebra… But I don’t want to get a degree in this, just study it.

Anyone care to mix a few particles with me and talk about this stuff in depth?