Four cakes and a penny bun!

Yeah for British expressions.

I really wish right now I could sleep.. Thats what I would like the most.

I’m spiraling into one of those fucking depressive moods that I know better to be in. But, for better or worse I’m here..

I’m having singleitis right now.

I dunno, I think it started when I left work. I got thinking about a really good friend of mine at work who is leaving for perhaps greener pastures. I’m going to miss her. She makes me wish I was straight for all the right reasons. I want to date her. I want to romance her. She is one of just a handful of people I’ve had the pleasure of bumping into who I really feel content being in her presence.

Am I just perhaps grasping at straws? She’s the best I’ve got at the moment so she’ll do? I don’t think so. I’m not that dishonest in what I feel.

Then I talked online. Cute boys, some taken, some perhaps unavailable.. Just all in all not anyone single who perhaps I could date.

I did talk with someone who I went to coffee with once. He’s doing well. We’re on completely friendly terms, but hell.. I’d love for things to work out with us in some way. But, well I don’t think its going to happen.

I then visited Shawn’s Webpage. I still miss him. But I see flaws and things that I don’t like in him. Perhaps I’m finally losing my myopia? Lets hope. It doesn’t hurt as bad as it used to, but what’s the point differentiating between different degrees of hell? It still hurts.

Next up the personal ads. I noticed a lot the same people. Some I know, some I’ve seen their personals before. And one who I chatted with for a long while a year or two ago..

Hell. I don’t think I’ve got anything to lose. I’m gonna drop him an email see what becomes of it. Maybe this time we can actually get to a first date.

Oh one last thing, my cat dissed me.. that hurts.