In Search of Cement

I’m plagued by the continual desire to engage in ceaseless unrelenting composition. The gears turning within my cranium never stop, but instead refocus and occupy themselves by scripting possible conversations that are wholly unlikely to happen. I have my thoughts as to why this is such a recurring idle time activity of mine. While others debate about dinner, I write useless, unneeded, and ethereal scripts in my head of situations which most likely will never have a viewer to collapse the possibility waves that Bohr cheerleaded for.

A second character on which to draft an ethereal script concerning the sister of the core philosophical question does not exist within my character repertoire.

I’ve been trying to come up with a draft edition of an answer to the question “What should I do with my life?” I’ve been unable to figure out who would be a second character upon which to cast my etherescript to allow a full explanation.

(By the way Po Bronson’s book What Should I do with My Life? is pure crap worthy of being served to the finest toilet bowls.)

There are potential companion characters for me for the proposed uncomposed etherescript. Jenni as well as Christy are very attractive potential candidates, but they are so focused on being supportive that they are not critical enough.

I’ve also had to resist casting Brad, my boyfriend for a personal record breaking three weeks and two days. Its not that I wouldn’t like to cast him in my personal etherescript but if I do cast him the question slyly morphs from “What should I do with my life?” to “What should we do with our lives together?” I, of course, would love to be able to explore this question with a fictional Brad, but with less than a month of dating I’ven’t earned the right to ask it. (Not to say I’ven’t tried to ask it, but I’ve been forced to resort to self flagellation when I attempt to answer variants of it, and the concussion I’m getting from my efforts is beginning to require medical attention.)

As much as I hate to admit it I know the answer in broad strokes. I am a creator. Ultimately, I want to take all the ethereal pieces floating and flying around me and gel them into a play, book, eJournal entry, letter to the editor, movie, photograph, video, theatrical production, web page, sculpture, painting, drawing, or combination. Being touched by the muse and transforming the quantum superpositionally held information within my cabeza and shaping it into something concrete and formed is what I do with my life and want to do with my life, but how to work that into something that I can live on this culture?

(Questions to answer questions, never a concrete answer.)