Archive for December, 2003

I need to stop acting like I’m quitting this job.

I’m acting like I’ve already gotten the Citiphone job already, like calling the division by its proper name and waxing about the beautifully and pleasantly designed building. (What I should be saying is that I’m shocked and appalled that they’ve charged me so much interest and spent it on this building but I’ll say if you gotta charge interest you might as well build a building like they’ve built.)

But I’ve already started on being a crappy employee no more goodie two shoes for me. I’ve been taking 20 some minute breaks (they’re supposed to be 15) and I took 11 minutes (I get 9) of Personal Time (known as P-Time) to take a really big crap. (see I can’t even get that right, I was doing C-time but using P-time.) In addition I was playing tetris on my phone while using C-time. (Everyone should do something to occupy the brain while C-timing, the colon knows what its doing, let it do its business, just like you should restrain your little kids from following the plumber or cable man around while they’re doing their business.)

But back to work, after my colonary diversion (yes, yes, yes. I’m gay. I know I put too much thought down there, but look at it this way, you’re the one reading about my C-timing habits, now if you like it or not you must admit that takes skill, for further examples of my efforts see Shitting is not an Olympic Sport)

But back to the crapper, I mean prison-err work. (I just serve my time in 8 hour chunks, besides that I’m convinced its worse than prison…)

Okay refocusing back to the job. I’ve been doing bad things, leaving when I’m done with the place, even before my shift, not coming in when I don’t feel like it. I mean I could do something really bad like call in a bomb threat or something like that but they don’t take those seriously. (Well at least no one searched the building.) Its not necessarily true that the grass is greener at Citiphone (or redder and bluer) but one hopes given the economy and pissed of card holders who owe too much that they take bomb threats seriously. (or maybe they don’t and you just get a $500 bonus for getting the “special” call of the day. (Hey terrorism has to pay someway, if ya ain’t gonna pay ransoms you might as well pay your employees some of the money saved.)

You see they get in a tizzy over nothing, I mean don’t they realize I have instructions to make a do-it-yourselfer nuclear bomb lying around on a computer somewhere? (Yes I do, The internet is wonderful, and I must remember to wipe that hard drive before disposing of it and/or the FBI’s visit.)

Speaking of the Federal Blunder Institute, I wonder if they have a file on me? I mean haven’t they kept any of their Hoover installed traits? (Besides clean carpet.)

Okay now given that I’ve shown myself as a truly deranged individual willing to go to any hights for a cheap laugh you’re thinking, that if Citiphone ever reads this they’ll never hire me right?

I think not — I mean wouldn’t you want an employee working in collections that can turn any bad situation into something resembling a shiny depleted uranium bullet that won’t kill the victim but just wound their pride, if they read it online?

Well at least thats what I’d do, but then again I’m a P-C time obsessed nut who just randomly spouts random drivel, that random people on the net read.

There now don’t you feel important?

I’ve decided the eJournal needs to be renamed. Its far to generic a name. I’ve been reading other eJournals and they all have funky names that seem a bit more about their creator, their content and they’re fun!

I also want to do a “relaunch” of sorts for January 3rd, which is the starting date of Nick’s eJournal.. Hell its time to get movin on!

So here are some ideas!

• Brain Dump
• Typed Runs
• Mental Diarrhea Dump
• Nick’s Toilet
• Flush Flush (play off Boing Boing)
• Defacted Musings
• The Uncontrollable Urge
• Your mother doesn’t clean this
• NMFF Cleaner Crud
• Anything that ain’t fit to print
• The Clifton Times
• Still rumblings
• The non homo-blog
• Nowhere near gay central
• Gladly off Central
• The Unfiltered Dump
• Path to Enlightened Insanity
• Drivel Source
• The Colon Speaks
• Unending Drainage
• The Maddening Drip
• The Maddening Dribble
• The Loopy Fest

Suggestions or favorites accepted!

A voice entry via infone. (Yes I know audblog does the same thing with better integration, but I don’t want to subscribe.)

Voice Entry

Somedays I really hate fighting an uphill battle.

I was taking a lunch break for someone and at the station next to the one I was at I saw a few copies of The Advocate. Bored, I went to look at them. Unfortunately I found that they were defaced with homophobic epithets.

I wish someone had come up to my face and called me a fag, at least then I could deal with it; I’m stuck stabbing in the dark at no one right now.

Its much easier to say than to do. I’ve got strains of my Candle Light Vigil Speech running through my head. I keep hearing myself say “that one incident was allowed to happen here in our community.” (I’m such a narcissist.) I know my reaction to this should be to get out there and educate and make positive change from this incident but I would like nothing more than a shouting match or a honest discussion with who did this.

Am I making a mountain out of a molehill?

I dunno, but if you only look at the top of a mountain and cut off the bottom, it looks like a molehill. Whatever the matter I have to do something.

Ack, I’ve ran out of steam.

Oh by the way the incident mentioned in my Candle Light Vigil speech was a bumper-sticker defacement, that was a mountain out of a molehill.

I hate thinking about cups. You see I walk out and the cup is half full, and I sit for a moment and a half and it gets to be half empty really quick.

That said the interview went well. (Except at the moment I have red fingers from fingerprinting, eh oh well, at least it ain’t getting everywhere)

I hope I’m not getting too much of the bullshit line. I really really really really do. Citi actually seems to recognize that their people are an asset to be nurtured. (God I feel like a crack addict, buying into the story thats being sold to me.)

But heres the thing. Its not in marketing speak which signals to me its real not fake. I heard Jeff (a manager at Citi) talking in his own voice, not a stilted measured corporate voice. Wow. I’m so used to CSD’s corporate bullshit speak that an actual human in a management position talking to me in his own voice just seems well to awe-inspiring. (It doesn’t hurt that the setting sun is shining into my eyes making it all that more revelatory.)

I just don’t like the idea of leaving my friends at CSD. They’ve been my nightly family for nine months. (I’m half tempted to get all the full timers to apply here, get my $500 referral bonus per person and screw CSD. That would be nice.)

One final note, given the homophobic comments I found strewn across copies of The Advocate at work last night, I feel happy to move to somewhere where sexual orientation is explicitly in the non-discrimination policy. (Although I never got my orientation to sexual, but oh well. When can we stop getting euphemistic and just call it what it is, its not sexual orientation it is “persons sexually attracted to the same or both genders.” See? No more euphemisms.)