Norms 1: Mouth Wide Shut
Its funny, I’ve had so many thoughts recently where I’ve said “I need to take some time and write on that.” Now that I’ve sat down and given myself time to write I am well, wordless. Maybe its more that I don’t know which to take first.
Okay the largest theme has been thinking how I fit into society, and the efforts I do and don’t make to fit in, and why I do or don’t make those efforts.
This all got started Friday with the seemingly most insignificant of conversations. Eric brought up one of my characteristics that frustrated him, specifically I talk with food in my mouth. (Mind you this is food in my mouth, not food that is in my mouth and is jumping out of it.) My argument is this is who I am and does not cause anyone else harm.
Other people around me feel uncomfortable being around me when I’m talking with food in my mouth. But they feel uncomfortable I do not make them uncomfortable, they are the ones who are uncomfortable.
A parallel example is in order. There is a tradition of kissing your loved one before they go on a trip, be it an airplane, train, bus, or car trip. While this happens in several different places it often happens at the transportation transition station. (read bus stop, airport, train station, etc..) Its an accepted norm that there will be some light PDA (LPDA) at these locations. Now I have kissed another guy at an airport (the Dayton Airport to be exact.) If someone said this made them uncomfortable I would tell them to fuck off (as politely as possible) because they are the ones who are uncomfortable, not me and my boyfriend. If they are uncomfortable with my boyfriend and I being who we are it is their discomfort not mine.
I can of course choose to censor my behavior. If there was some benefit to this, (say avoiding gay bashing) I would change my behavior. But I’m pretty comfortable with the fact that I won’t be gay bashed at an airport.
but back to talking with food in my mouth. At this point in my life it is who I am. I can of course choose to change this behavior, but I believe that the benefits do not outweigh the costs. If those who are uncomfortable are so bothered by it perhaps they should choose and try not to be uncomfortable.
A quick word. This is a response to a real conversation with Eric, not to lambaste him or his friends in public, but just to spit out my thoughts about it. As always the comment feature exists for people who disagree with me, or care to add something.