Driving News Vol 1.0

Apparently I missed the memo that we were supposed to be playing bumper cars in Cincinnati today. I was driving home on the best poorly designed Interstate in the country. (I-75 in any Ohio city) There were no fewer than three single car accidents; people just decided that it was time to run into the wall on the side of the highway.

I don’t really get what is too hard about driving in rain of any volume. Its a relatively simple ratio that needs to be followed, as the volume of rain falling increases, your speed needs to decrease, at the same time you need to increase your following distance (in seconds). Is this so hard people?

I am a less efficient driver when I’m in Ohio, because people don’t use turn signals and the like; ergo, I have to drive much more defensively. Ohio knows this an issues their drivers mandatory front and rear plates for their cars, they want to know who you are coming or going. In Kentucky, they trust us enough just to know us by our rears.

In other driving news, I have been noticing a curious epidemic of prenegotiated alternative traffic patterns. (An epidemic in this case is two instances in a month, but given that this is an incalculable increase in the eighty-seven months I have been driving, I feel completely justified in using the word epidemic. If you don’t feel that is justified then I’ll justify it by wanting to induce fear. (oh wait I’m neither GWB or BG))

Onto the actual description. I assume most people are as flummoxed as I was about the concept of a prenegotiated alternative traffic pattern. Essentially at two instances when I was waiting at a stop light people rolled down their windows and yelled and asked permission to execute a traffic pattern not prescribed by the code laid onto the road. During both instances I agreed out of bewilderment with the whole concept.

While I don’t plan on instigating any other prenegotiated alternative traffic patterns I will keep my eyes out for other instances of traffic hippies. Oh and bumper car drivers as well..