Banana, human, cats, change.

There is a quote from a writer whose name I forget that I’m going to paraphrase and butcher right now:

I kept telling myself that there was one more hurdle I had to clear so I could start living my life. But, then I realized that instead those hurdles were my life, and I should enjoy them and live my life.

See, I warned you I was going to butcher it.

Chiquita announced this week that headquarters, where I work, will be staying in Cincinnati. It was Fernando’s decision alone, and I have to agree with him, it was the right one for right now for Chiquita.

The problem is I really wanted to move. In many ways I was looking forward to moving and keeping my same job. (okay there are a huge number of assumptions there, but the odds are pretty good that I would’ve still had a position with Chiquita.) Some of this is that I’m scared to get too far away from my family. Its not that I don’t think I could take care of myself, (I’m more or less independent from family, its not like they’re doing my laundry or anything.) its that there is a lot of comfort of having a safety net of being able to lean on parents, especially when crazy ass people try to kill you or you can’t make the rent.

Another piece of this is that I’m a change junky, and right now I’m bored. (My primary operational responsibility at work currently bores the shit out of me, and I’d really like it if our primary vender got their shit together. I’m torn on that because they do a good job with what they’ve got to work with, but the thing is generally messed up and I’m the one who gets the pressure internally.) School, lets not even get started on that, but suffice it to say I’m not interested in it right now.

I looked at maybe buying a house, but I’ve got a rent that is hard to beat, and anyways the only rationale I could come up with for buying a house is to invest, and the experts say you’re better off investing elsewhere, especially given where I’d like to live right now.

I’ve also got a promise to myself that I’ll move out of the Midwest in the next five years or so. This means I’ll need to start plotting where I’m going, and right now I feel stagnate.

I have this dream that I’ll meet some wonderful guy and we’ll move (out of the midwest of course) and I’ll find a great job and everyone will live happily ever after. Yeah fucking right. While I didn’t read that in a fairy tale, it definitely is a fairy tale. I’m bad at being a catalyst for change. I want a cute boy, or my job, or some other external force to be the catalyst, and usually it is. But, this also means I’m just waiting for something to happen..

In case you haven’t figured out by now this is one of my trademark rambling entries, and I have no idea how to end it.

Until next time, when I’ll discuss dinner parties, goodnight from two felines and a human in a bed. (I swear, there is nothing funny going on….)