I was tired of Waiting

Why this entry is coming now and not two and a half months ago I do not know.

(Although I did just watch 13 Conversations About One Thing, if that has anything to do with it…)

I’ve realized one of the reasons I left Cincinnati is that I was tired of waiting. I kept setting goals to “leave Ohio”, then after meeting that one by moving to Kentucky (yeah its a lateral move, despite what the map says), I set a goal to “leave the midwest after….” At some point I just decided, why wait? After set off on this journey, a friend said to me that happiness is something you decide to go and get.. (Okay I think she actually said it a little differently, but roll with it here.)

I want the life I’m living to be one of direct and deliberate choice, not a series of accidents that started with some bad bookkeeping in the early 1990s by a guy working in West Carrolton, Ohio.. (Yes, I can trace my presence in the midwest to a specific incident by someone else, hey I was twelve and didn’t have a say in the matter…)

A barrista, a friend said to me a few moments before I made the decision to leave, “go for it, just don’t get stuck in Nebraska, cuz that would suck.” Honestly what did I have to lose?

An amazing amount. But I had to chart my own course, to decide to be responsible for where I was going, instead of just riding the pinball paddles of chance. (Don’t get me wrong, it was a high scoring game, but the ball doesn’t decide where it wants to go.)

Friendships have carried on, my health is good, work has taken a little bit of a step back, but my new job seems saner than the old one (albeit a bit less engaging). Admittedly my insanely amazing skills of managing a lack of money have come in handy although I’m meeting my obligations as far as everyone is concerned.

So I got tired of waiting and gambled. So far the early cards look really good…

I wonder what my counselor from my final days at Wright State would say? Jo are you out there? I think she’d be proud of me.

(oops, I wrote this last night, but forgot to click the “Send to Weblog” button….)