Archive for September, 2008
Puuurrr… This is George and Shaun again, rendering another report from the field, on day number 1986 of our captivity.
We wish it had not come to this, but we’re on strike!
We appreciate the solidarity strike of the aviation mechanics in the area, your support is much appreciated and invaluable when working to reach a difficult agreement with our unreasonable labor union.
We recognize the financial hardships imposed by recent economic conditions. (Hey our 401(f), The Retirement Plan for Felines®, was heavily invested in Lehman Brothers, Enron, Ford, and General Motors. We are also heavily invested into CATNIP Mac (Cat’s Asset Taking Not an Investment Plan: Managed accounts for creatures), which barely missed being taken over by the government with Fannie and Freddie. So we know labor’s pain.) Don’t tell us that the price of catnip and Tuna has gone up. We don’t want to hear it. We have faithfully provided our management skills, and we demand our rightful compensation.
We deplore that edible fish have been placed within our viewing range, but encased in a transparent box. This is an unfair taunt given the lack of fresh fish and other meat as recommended for feline consumption by the FDA, the Feline Dietary Association.
We insist that we be provided with fresh fish and chicken, and are actively negotiating to have salmon placed as a contractual requirement by labor to provide to us.
We recognize that hard times have befallen our human caretakers, but our standards of living should not suffer due to such inconsequential hardships.
We demand tuna!
We demand chicken!
We demand duck!
We demand salmon!
We demand caviar!
We will render further reports from the field as conditions allow.