Archive for November, 2009

Eeeewwwww! There’s a lotta dust and cobwebs in this place!

I’ven’t posted anything on this blog since May, and I’ven’t

I’ve been exploring the concept of headspace lately. Playing within the kinky world has brought this concept really close to the surface, but I see applications of the concept as I move throughout my life.

I wrote this on a specialized depression support group forum, but this must be shared:

The most insidious thing about depression is that we start to see life through shit colored glasses.

It can be hard at times, but when things are looking really shitty, I ask myself two questions:

1. How could this be worse? (It couldn’t be worse isn’t an allowed answer.)
2. What is good about this situation? (Everything has an upside, even if you have to work a backwards way through it. E.g. “I will be stronger, and more understanding of myself.”)

I don’t allow myself the right to allow myself to dwell on depressive thoughts: I have not earned that right. To reinforce this, I remind myself of the story told by Viktor Frankl of people in the internment camps who chose, even under those circumstances that they would be compassionate toward their fellow man. Until I have dealt with that, I don’t have the right to dwell on my depressive thoughts.

I find myself with an interesting set of conundrums with interpersonal connections.

I’m entering the joyful world of developing new connections, close and deep connections with someone who I hope to get to know better.

I’m also stuck with the dreadful task of having a discussion with a dear friend acknowledging that connections are gone, and we should cherish and embrace the past for what it was.