January 08, 2004
Slow Roasting Mental Beans
I feel empty. Not in a teenagery angst way. Its more like I'm a blank slat, waiting to be painted after dusting off lots of junk.
I want to be filled but with what I'm not sure. I want to have something enjoyable something lovely in my life to occupy my time and mind.
Its partially I'm in limbo. CSD is done come Sunday morning and Citi hasn't come in yet and filled that space. Not that its a job that makes me feel filled, I'm just so used to holding everything at arm's length and keeping all my projects behind the dam so I can deal with the now, my job and those really important things. I've got a damn for no reason and little desire to breach the dam.
I've been screaming to have me time and now that I have it I'm at a loss on how to use it. I need an entertainment director.
I feel that I should aim for something bit, but I don't have the motivations at the moment. I have like four "semi-major" projects that need work. But I'm not sure any of them will fill me.
Ack, time to get another coffee that'll fill me.