May 02, 2005
Stub for a Comment
So I screwed up, and posted what was supposed to go to the Interesting Websites section and posted it here. (Both are MovableType blogs)
Marshall was quicker than me and commented on it before I caught my mistake. Applicable Interesting Websites entry is:- Wheres the 757? - This has been hanging around my bookmarks for quite some time. If you look at the pictures its pretty hard to figure out where a 757 managed to hide itself in the Pentagon.. [May, 1 2005]
"Thank you for calling the official Federal 9-11 Information Management Bureau's automated response system. To ensure your case meets an appropriate response, this call will be monitored and recorded. Please select the most applicable description among the options that follow.
"If your question is about exactly when and why Osama Bin Laden stopped being a CIA asset, or concerns any other speculations involving Al Qaeda and US Intelligence operations, please press 1.
"If your question is about the inexplicably deplorable NORAD non-response to the multiple hijackings on 11 September 2001, in light of the fact that federal standards and past performance at the time indicated F-16s always intercepted planes in midair distress no more than 12 minutes after the first report to the FAA was made by air traffic controllers, please press 2.
"If your question has anything to do with the melting point of structural steel, the combustion properties of aviation jet fuel, the dispersal patterns of gaseous debris-clouds at varying internal temperatures, methods for reliably achieving controlled demolitions of steel-reinforced high-rise structures, expected mean internal temperatures of debris-piles left after fire-induced collapses, the purchase dates and insurance histories of the corporation that owned the WTC, or any other matter dealing with the physics of any aspect of the government's official explanation of events in New York on the day in question, please press 3.
"If your question includes any quibbles about the offical explanation of the crash of Flight 93 in Shanksville, or touches upon the alleged impossibility of establishing reliable cell phone communications between a cruising jetliner and ground relay stations, please press 4.
"If your question is about the supposed impossibility of observed damage at the Pentagon being caused by a plane of the alleged size, the absurdity of the idea that a run-away jetliner could be allowed to fly over Washington DC without being intercepted by National Guard aircraft, the "convenience" of the only section of the Pentagon largely unmanned at the time and the only section recently reinforced against blasts being the preferred target area, the alleged nearly insuperable difficulties even an experienced pilot would have encountered in attempting to perform the manuevers outlined in the official government explanation in a plane of that size and at those speeds, supposed anomolies and/or missing frames of security tapes of the incident released for public viewing, or any other matter touching on the Pentagon or the Department of Defense in this event, please press 5.
"If your question concerns the amazingly odd reported behaviors of the President, the Vice-President, or the Secret Service in the hours immediately following the attacks, or touches on any of the various Freudian slips subsequently made by these individuals indicating foreknowledge or culpability, please press 6.
"If your question is about the identities and counter-intuitively complete dossiers of the 19 alleged hijackers being miraculously released by the Justice Department within hours of the events themselves, please press 7.
"If your question is about possible incompetence, malfeasance, stonewalling, coverup, or simple irrational withholding of relevant evidence concerning this case by any law enforcement agency, federal or otherwise, including questions about the seemingly hasty sale of WTC debris to a foreign nation for use as scrap metal, without any attempt to comb the debris for forensic evidence to substantiate the government's official explanation of the day's events, please press 8.
"To repeat this menu, please press 9, or hold the line for additional options.
"If you have any questions about how in God's name the socialist secular-humanist dictator Saddam Hussein ever became linked in the US public imagination with plots concocted by a fundamentalist Muslim guerilla organization, please call the Presidential Special Office of Subliminal Public Education at 1-800-EASY-ONE.
"If you have any questions about the public legacy of the 9-11 events and the integrity of the US federal election process, please call the Presidential Operational Task Force on Electoral Integrity and Other Obstacles to Continued Necessary Policy Implementations at 1-800-FIX-VOTE.
"If you have any questions about the mental stability of the President, the Vice-President, or any other currently ranking member of the Executive Branch, please call the Federal Executive Mental Stability Project Field Coordination Office at 1-800-NOT-SANE.
"If you have any questions about the provisions, advisability, or Constitutionality of the USA PATRIOT ACT or any other National Security-related legislation implemented by the last two Sessions of Congress, please hold the line while our next available agent assembles the documents relevant to the prosecution of your case."