June 18, 2006
Hate this feeling...
Whats this all about?
I'm second guessing the hell out of myself right now, but I'm wondering why I didn't stay at Purchase College? or go to Binghamton College..
I'm just wondering how life could be different and full. Nothing seems to fill me, to give me purpose. I feel like I'm going through the motions.
I've not been doing too well in managing my depression.. that much should be evident by now. I really need to work out more often or something. I just can never seem to push myself to do it.
The romantic life has picked up somehow, but ultimately that doesn't quite seem to improve anything.
I feel that I have purpose at work, but when it comes to other things, say school or home life, or personal life they all just feel empty...
I hate this feeling.
Purpose: the most elusive quest in our universe ive been looking for 40 years. Didnt find it in science or religion. Gave hedonism a good bash tho. The shrinks may actually be able to help us when they realise it is the most fundamental need of all.
Still looking hope you are too.