June 19, 2006
Guilty Strange Moment.
I had one of the oddest experiences this morning.
My landlady is having work done in the back yard, which is where I usually enter the building. Due to the construction I cannot leave that way, so last week my landlady gave me keys to her apartment and told me to walk through her apartment until the work is done.
Its been a bit weird walking through their apartment at all hours, but its become sort of normal. I just try to keep quiet and be respectful. If they're around I just say hello, and continue on my way.
This morning I came downstairs and heard crying. As I walked through I saw my landlady sitting on the floor sobbing. I wasn't sure what had happened.
Her sister had died of cancer.
After hearing this I needed to be there for her. I don't think I provided anything substantial, an ear to listen, an offer for a glass of water, and a hug or two.
As selfish as it sounds it was helpful for me to be there for her, to fill a need, to share a small piece of raw human emotion. Being there has helped me feel, to remember what life is about.
I feel guilty that I've have gained something on someone else's loss. But, I am thankful she allowed me to share the moment with her.