June 22, 2008
Wasted bits
I completed crewing the Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk about two and a half hours ago.
I'm sure you want me to tell you that it was a moving experience, or some stuff like that. Honestly, it was a fulfilling event with some challenges and a lot of success.
What it did reveal to me is a great deal of uncomfortableness with my own suicide attempt. I discussed the situation I was in at the time I attempted to kill myself with a woman whose grandson had committed suicide. From what I remember at the time what had become my life and had made me happy had been forcibly removed from me. Really in a lot of ways I did not have the skills to deal with that.
I'm still uncomfortable with writing or talking about that time, but I've become stronger, realizing how to manage those times when I am overwhelmed.