March 30, 2005
An entry
I need to write here more.
I need to cook more.
I need to balance all this dang stuff more.
I need to make sure that work doesn't dominate my life.
March 31, 2005
Bullets
- I'm amazed at how intimate my cats are. I'm pretty sure i've never met two who allow another cat to cleanse them nearly everywhere. I relish watching them, deconstructing who they are and how they act.
- I love William Finn's music. The song "I Never Wanted to Love You" from March of the Falsettos (Amazon.com|iTMS) never fails to at least get me emotional, not bringing me to tears. I remember the first time I saw Falsettos (a combination of March of the Falsettos and Falsettoland), I was working on another show and we slipped in to see the dress rehearsal, as both shows would be running at the same time. The show brought me to tears, one of only a handful to ever do that.
- While I'm at it another song by William Finn that I adore - "Hitchhiking Across America." (Amazon|iTMS) Its a musical contained in one song. As good as if not better than one of Billy Joel's wonderful story telling tales.
- I despise how I feel when I listen to "I Never Wanted to Love You."
- I'm utterly frustrated that I simultaneously want to Love someone but I also Never wanted to have Love him. I horribly want closure. How the hell do I get closure on this? It didn't help that I ran into him three weeks ago or so. I don't know. I'm half tempted to email this to him, but thats not fair.
- I've debated writing letters to him, addressing them with his name and one of the three cities we spent most of our time in. I find something about this approach more appealing than just writing the letter and burning it or saving it. I want to send these out. Give them somewhere to travel. (Albeit it won't get far.)
- I want to make banana bread.
- I am encouraged that people find what I've written to be inspiring, or whatnot.
- I'm discouraged that in 2004, 4.9 million people were newly infected with HIV
- I'm angered that we live in a society that pushes so many gay men to start using Crystal Meth.
- I'm encouraged that we gay men have begun to address the problem.
- People who have come out are strong enough to avoid Crystal Meth. (Those of you who are saying, "What effort?" and whose coming outs were like birth, (i.e. painful for your mother, but more or less just a new experience for you) need not apply.)
- I need to do something to better the world around me.