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Nick's Place

Nick's Place: Papers: Purchase College: College Writing: Comments on: Ringing in the Holidays


Nicholas Barnard

College Writing

Thomasenia Hutchins

I am commenting on “Ringing in the Holidays - School's Bell Choir Fun for All” written by Christine Bordelon.

This article starts off with the vague and colorful, “The magical sounds of bells have been echoing in the cafeteria at Greenlawn Terrace School this year.” In addition to being just a beautifully sounding and flowing statement, it has a level of mystery that draws anyone in to want to know more, especially with the heightened focus on schools that is present.

The body is presented in traditional newspaper format, with quotations from the involved parties scattered throughout the piece. A major technique that is used is the statement, then in the next sentence the use of a quotation that illustrates or restates the previous statement.

The conclusion of this piece in my opinion is non-existent. The body of the article just continues till the end. There is not a summing up of ideas or a new argument or idea presented that brings meaning to the rest of the article.

This piece does an excellent job connecting with the reader. First it draws upon school children, a majority of the population went to school as a child and understands the situations there. It also draws upon the enthusiasm and excitement that all the students feel, and shares that with the reader.