{"id":2109,"date":"2003-02-12T03:29:11","date_gmt":"2003-02-12T11:29:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm2\/2003\/02\/12\/embarassed\/"},"modified":"2003-02-12T03:29:11","modified_gmt":"2003-02-12T11:29:11","slug":"embarassed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/2003\/02\/12\/embarassed\/","title":{"rendered":"Embarassed"},"content":{"rendered":"

Okay, I cry to television and movies every once in a while. Every once in a RARE<\/font> while. But never to Star Trek until now….<\/p>\n

From Star Trek: Voyager<\/a> "The Disease<\/a>":<\/p>\n

Captain Janeway<\/b>: You’ve got 30 seconds before I have Tuvok drag you to sickbay.
Ensign Kim<\/b>: Captain I am not sick! I didn’t disobey orders because I’m under some alien influence, I disobeyed your orders because Tal and I are in love, and its not right for you to keep us apart.
Janeway<\/b>: You listen to yourself. You don’t sound anything like the Harry Kim I know.
Kim<\/b>: Good I have served this ship for five years and said “yes ma’am” to every one of your orders but not this time.
Janeway<\/b>: Your willing to risk your rank your career over this?
Kim<\/b>: Have you ever been in love captain?
Janeway<\/b>: Your point?
Kim<\/b>: Did your skin ever flush when you were near another person? Did your stomach ever feel like someone hallowed it out with a knife when you were apart? Did your throat ever swell when you realized it over? Seven of Nine told me Seven of Nine told me loves like a disease, well maybe it is. Pheromones, endorphins, chemicals in our blood, changing our responses, physical discomfort, but anyway you look at its still love.
Janeway<\/b>: For the sake of argument lets say your right, your feelings for Tal are no different than mine for … What? the man I was engaged to marry. Well I lost him and your going to lose Tal. You know that. What the Doctor is offering you is a way to ease the pain.
Kim<\/b>: That man you were going to marry if you could’ve just taken a hypo-spray to make yourself stop loving him so that it didn’t hurt so much when you were away from him would you have done that?<\/p>\n

(A disruption takes them away to the bridge.)<\/p>\n

\n

I know I wouldn’t have taken that hypo-spray.<\/p>\n

I’ve also been reading Shawn’s eJournal. Despite the fact that I swore off him or so I thought, I never really stopped reading his eJournal. I’m still stuck hoping. I likely am going to see him this weekend at the 2003 Midwest BLGTA College Conference<\/a>. I don’t want to scare him away. But I just read his entry Life has been odd lately…<\/a>, and I’m stuck with the impression that I took advantage of someone who was down. I knew from almost the beginning that he had just lost his mother, but he seemed to be dealing with it pretty well, so I didn’t give it much thought. I felt that if he wanted to bring it up he would, and I had no right to pry. I’m just not sure if I’m a weed. (Sigh) <\/p>\n

I know I wanna make a second try at this, I just do. But is it worth the pain a second time? Plus, it isn’t my decision. I know I cannot make this decision, I’ve decided my half of it, and I’m doing my best to leave the door open if he decides that he wants to be with me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Okay, I cry to television and movies every once in a while. Every once in a RARE while. But never to Star Trek until now…. From Star Trek: Voyager "The Disease": Captain Janeway: You’ve got 30 seconds before I have Tuvok drag you to sickbay.Ensign Kim: Captain I am not sick! I didn’t disobey orders […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2109","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2109","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2109"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2109\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2109"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2109"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2109"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}