I’ve been pulling my stakes up, yanking myself away from lots of things. This is the first time that I can think of that I was so deeply involved in something or so many things and I voluntarily started pulling up stakes. Usually I want to keep my stakes in the ground my contacts intact for as long as possible. But in this situation I’ve been packing – pulling up as many stakes as possible. I am now divorced from WSU the institution, I’ve separated from PFlag Dayton (Despite the fact that I’ven’t told them) and I’ve pitched Lambda out of my life, and I’ve even stopped seeing my counselor.<\/p>\n
I’ve burnt out from my life lots of things that were zapping my energy. I’ve done this after realizing the situation I was in wasn’t working for me, and I’ve embarked upon a path of self exploration and self discovery. I’ve decided to dye my hair blue, revitalize my web presence and focus on me.<\/p>\n
But I know that I don’t have the ability to remove myself from people all together. an interesting Quote from A Simpler Way: “When we link up into others, we open ourselves to yet another paradox … while surrendering some of our freedom, we open ourselves to even more creative forms of expression. This state of being has been described as communion … the means of who we are changes through our communion with [others]. We are identifiable as our selves. [sic] But we have discovered new meaning and different contributions, and we are no longer the same.”<\/p>\n
The question is: is this – or was the person I was who I wanted to be? I would have to say no. I’m someone while I’ll thrive for excellence I will not go too far above and beyond what is expected of me unless there is a clear incentive to; just doing the work excellently is not enough in and of itself.<\/p>\n
I guess herein is one of my problems – I live for others not for myself, well not true but when functioning in the world I go for meeting expectations not exceeding them, unless I get something for it.<\/p>\n
But back to the point. I don’t like the person I’ve become at WSU – sliding in trying to get enough to get by but not trying for excellence.<\/p>\n
If you look at life as creating a building I’m knocking down the old one and placing in the foundation for the new one. I’m hoping this time I can get a skyscraper, or at least a nice sized office building instead of the grocery store\/shopping mall that I’ve had.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I’ve been pulling my stakes up, yanking myself away from lots of things. This is the first time that I can think of that I was so deeply involved in something or so many things and I voluntarily started pulling up stakes. Usually I want to keep my stakes in the ground my contacts intact […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2141","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2141","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2141"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2141\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2141"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2141"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2141"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}