{"id":2163,"date":"2003-04-16T04:05:40","date_gmt":"2003-04-16T12:05:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm2\/2003\/04\/16\/suicide-meditations\/"},"modified":"2003-04-16T04:05:40","modified_gmt":"2003-04-16T12:05:40","slug":"suicide-meditations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/2003\/04\/16\/suicide-meditations\/","title":{"rendered":"Suicide Meditations"},"content":{"rendered":"

Why am I embarrassed that I attempted to kill myself?<\/p>\n

In someways I think its a weakness. There is a limit upon after it is crossed life is no longer desirable.<\/p>\n

Suicide per the textbook is the realization that one’s coping skills are insufficient to deal with one’s life.<\/p>\n

I know I reached that point where I found where my limit was.<\/p>\n

Ironically I responded not by going back to what I had done and doing it again, but by deliberately and methodically slashing, burning, and killing parts of myself that I found counterproductive, or unfulfilling. I responded to my complete suicide attempt by doing a targeted precision guided suicide mission.<\/p>\n

i am determined to burn those bridges to my past and work on living again and rebuilding things in a manner that I hope I won’t ever have such a great disjunct between my pain and my coping skills.<\/p>\n

\n

I did kill my old self so that an important core of me could live, so that I could go on.<\/p>\n

I’m trying to be careful so I don’t ever feel a need to do that again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Why am I embarrassed that I attempted to kill myself? In someways I think its a weakness. There is a limit upon after it is crossed life is no longer desirable. Suicide per the textbook is the realization that one’s coping skills are insufficient to deal with one’s life. I know I reached that point […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2163","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2163","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2163"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2163\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2163"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2163"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2163"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}