17 years. I just heard that this guy has been in love and single for 17 years. I know I’m being hard on myself expecting to get over S in two and a half months, but thats only on a one month long relationship.<\/p>\n
I wonder if I tried to kill myself because of S.. It defiantly was a dream that I had that wasn’t fulfilled, but its not exclusive to S, he just happened to fit, and fit well.<\/p>\n
I just don’t want to be alone right now and not in that obvious sense. I don’t want to be lacking an intimate relationship.<\/p>\n
My most intimate relationship with Jenni feels less intimate all the time. She’s a good friend and always will be. She or I or both of us have just grown out of that spot we once held for each other. I don’t fault her or me, it just happened. she is the only person that I know of right now that I’d pre-meditatively kill someone else to protect her. Sure, there’s lots of people who I’d jump in front of a bus to push out of the way or shoot a man pointing a gun at them, but I would kill to protect her even given lots of time to think about it and knowledge that I’d end up in jail afterwards.<\/p>\n
I expect so much of myself. I cannot let myself off the hook in so many ways.<\/p>\n
I’m drained of words plus I’ve got to eat. There is more to say on this though.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
17 years. I just heard that this guy has been in love and single for 17 years. I know I’m being hard on myself expecting to get over S in two and a half months, but thats only on a one month long relationship. I wonder if I tried to kill myself because of S.. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2166","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2166","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2166"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2166\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2166"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2166"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inmff.net\/peidm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2166"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}